About birds and TEA

A few weeks ago, after work, I heard Brian scolding Cesar. (If you don't know it, Brian and I work from home, so my office is just a few steps from the kitchen, so i can hear pretty well) He was starting to sound VERY unhappy, especially because Cesar wouldn't own up to his mistake. OUCH! So, here I come into the kitchen and start listening in:
BRIAN: "What do you mean you didn't take them? Are you hording them? Did you hide them?"
CESAR: "Brian, I didn't take them, really"
BRIAN: "What do you mean you didn't take them? Coco and Connor can't reach them. Mom wouldn't take them, and they did NOT grow legs".
ME: "What are you guys talking about?"
BRIAN: "It's just that we had the gumballs' container almost to the middle this morning, and now, there's barely one layer of them. The only one who could have done it is Cesar, and he won't even tell the truth!"
ME: "Eh... mmmhhhh... did we have those many? I think it wasn't so full, Brian"
BRIAN: "What do you mean it wasn't so full?"
ME: "Well... I kind of have been taking a few through out the day, but I don't remember them being so many"
CESAR: "See, Bri? I told you"
BRIAN: "No, Paula, it is too many that are missing... How many have you taken?"
ME: "Let's see... I've taken like... about 7 servings, and each of them has been about 8 gumballs, except for a couple, that I took like 10"
BRIAN: "WHAAAAAAT??????"
ME: "What do you mean what?"
BRIAN: "Are you kidding me! You chew 70 + gumballs??? Why would you take so many?"
ME: "Well, I would start with two, but the flavor would go away so soon. So I'd grab another two, but they would go flavorless again... I really needed this, Bri. I had a rough day at work"
BRIAN: "Do you know that you consumed 700 empty calories on gumballs alone?"
ME: "I didn't have breakfast or lunch!"
By now, Brian is laughing incredulously and reaching for the leftover gumballs...
BRIAN: "I'm taking these away and hiding them"
ME: "WHAT???"
BRIAN: "Paula, step away from the gumballs"...
At this point, Cesar and Brian are laughing an throwing the gumball container as I try to get it, like some sort of pathetic monkey in the middle... I didn't know where they took them, and I have to say, for the rest of the afternoon, I felt in withdraw.
The following morning, I had to go out for an interpreting job. As I came out of court and turn on my cell phone, I find a voice mail. It's Cesar's very badly disguised voice, with a New Jersey accent, saying:

"Names are not important. I know where the gumballs are. I am willing to cooperate with you if you cooperate with me. For further instructions, check your desk when you arrive home"

As it turns out, Brian found the message on my desk before I could find it, so there went my hope to have my gumballs back. He actually would give me a portion of gumballs for the day (A miser 8 for the whole day, can you believe it???) But just a few days ago, he bought a new container. He put it in the pantry in the same place as always. No locks. No hiding.

I think he gave up. He became an enabler... I think they call it co-dependency.

I need to find a Gumball Anonymous before my last two good molars start to give up...